Armageddon me

You've got it...but are you getting it?  Really getting it?  Yes...Armageddon it! 
-Def Leppard

Def Leppard might have inadvertently written the theme song for the current social mood back in 1987 with "Armageddon it".

 Vampires....zombies...aliens...Snookie...all these have a common theme:

We better stick together if we're going to survive.

 
 A sure-fire way to end the drudgery of everyday life is the Apocalypse.  Any Apocalypse.  Overdue bills? Fuggetaboutem.  Retirement planning?  Hah.  You've got more pressing issues.



Be it a Vampire domination

Zombie occupation

Reality-show saturation

or Alien Invasion...

The premise is the same...When the shit hits the fan the hot survivors will be looking my way, and I can quit worrying about the goddamn bills.  When your options are me, undead bloodsuckers, flesheaters, alien headhunters or Snookie what're you gonna do? (after Snookie..obviously...)  You'll be be running like the wind to my huge stash of canned food, .223 ammo and dungeon-master survival skills.  Back when civilization was still there I might've been a regular Joe...but that was THEN and this is NOW!

A common thread for apocalypse planning is that the survivors you run across in the wasteland look like this:

or this (for the ladies):

or the alien overlords like this:

Wow...Probe me.  Please.

 Which means...

The odds of mating with someone way out of my league when I leave my basement have increased geometrically. 
Excellent.

90% of the world now wants to eat you, enslave you or talk to you in a whiny Jersey accent.  You've got years of survival training, a huge stash of guns, canned food and a bomb-proof bunker.   All you need is a nympho fellow survivor to share it with. This will be awesome!  Unless...



You got a purty mouth...

I'm Lola.  Nice Bunker.

Could the other survivors be....

Nahhh. 

Oh Yeah.  It's survival time baby.